Your take on what sentimentality really is, is very helpful. Many thanks for it. As I look back over my now getting-longish life, I realize certain smells bring me right back to my childhood and adolescence, and certain songs trigger memories while certain genres recall epochs for me.
What strikes me as critically important is that much of what you write about nostalgically revolves around friendship with other men. As we advance through life, these friendships have to be fought for, nurtured, maintained, and grown. It’s much easier for men who have the leisure for this — and it’s one reason why so may business deals get struck on the golf course (that, and you really see what a guy is like when you play a round). For those not in the upper classes, friendship around sons’ activities seems to be a way many men maintain or even start friendships. So too friendship around outdoor activities.
An isolated man is a weak and vulnerable man. There are many forces in modern life that want it this way. Acknowledge it without bitterness and tell the fact “no, my friends and I will not be those men.” Fight to find ways to keep building memories with men you admire and trust, men who are your friends.
Nostalgia, the nettle of the mind. If a memory is lightly touched on the sting of loss strikes you. If the memory of a certain moment is latched on to, you can remember everything and your soul has found a balm.
Such a wonderful post. Imagine the benefit if we men could cultivate the practice of nostalgia with the communication of those deeper feelings. It would be like reaching into the past and pulling a treasure from it, into the present.
I think about how much of my own spiritual formation happened through accumulated presence rather than explicit teaching. You show up at the same place at the same time and eventually the place becomes a kind of prayer. The Sedikides research is interesting, but what stays with me is the simpler claim: nostalgia tells us our story mattered. That feels connected to why ritual works, why the church calendar works, why the same bedtime routine with your kids works. Not repetition but coherence. You're knitting a life together one return trip at a time.
Such a wonderful post. Imagine the benefit if we men could cultivate the practice of nostalgia with the communication of those deeper feelings. It would be like reaching into the past and pulling a treasure from it, into the present.
Your take on what sentimentality really is, is very helpful. Many thanks for it. As I look back over my now getting-longish life, I realize certain smells bring me right back to my childhood and adolescence, and certain songs trigger memories while certain genres recall epochs for me.
What strikes me as critically important is that much of what you write about nostalgically revolves around friendship with other men. As we advance through life, these friendships have to be fought for, nurtured, maintained, and grown. It’s much easier for men who have the leisure for this — and it’s one reason why so may business deals get struck on the golf course (that, and you really see what a guy is like when you play a round). For those not in the upper classes, friendship around sons’ activities seems to be a way many men maintain or even start friendships. So too friendship around outdoor activities.
An isolated man is a weak and vulnerable man. There are many forces in modern life that want it this way. Acknowledge it without bitterness and tell the fact “no, my friends and I will not be those men.” Fight to find ways to keep building memories with men you admire and trust, men who are your friends.
I saw myself in your words more than once, believe me.
Nostalgia, the nettle of the mind. If a memory is lightly touched on the sting of loss strikes you. If the memory of a certain moment is latched on to, you can remember everything and your soul has found a balm.
Thank you for writing this.
This is really relatable, enjoyed it!
Such a wonderful post. Imagine the benefit if we men could cultivate the practice of nostalgia with the communication of those deeper feelings. It would be like reaching into the past and pulling a treasure from it, into the present.
Love the connection of nostalgia specifically to places—really resonates. Thank you.
I think about how much of my own spiritual formation happened through accumulated presence rather than explicit teaching. You show up at the same place at the same time and eventually the place becomes a kind of prayer. The Sedikides research is interesting, but what stays with me is the simpler claim: nostalgia tells us our story mattered. That feels connected to why ritual works, why the church calendar works, why the same bedtime routine with your kids works. Not repetition but coherence. You're knitting a life together one return trip at a time.
Such a wonderful post. Imagine the benefit if we men could cultivate the practice of nostalgia with the communication of those deeper feelings. It would be like reaching into the past and pulling a treasure from it, into the present.